Signiture Select 78% Dark Chocolate

                                   

About: Signature Select is a Safeway super market generic brand. It's not clear who actually makes this chocolate, though it claims a Swiss provenance. This chocolate is clearly a mass produced product, but not necessarily poorly made. The chocolate itself is very generic and not very flavorful, but the highly processed beans do result in a good texture.

Flavor:  On the good side, it's not too sweet, and, while it's a short, not-very-complex flavor profile, it's pleasant. This is the embodiment of  "there's nothing wrong with it" but.. nothing to get excited about. Melt it and use it as topping on your sundae, and you win. Expect a great chocolate experience? Not so much.

Texture:Really smooth. Actually silky and creamy for the high cocoa content.

My rating:  A 6 for no bad flavors and a good texture. 

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Perugina NEGO Sfoglie 70% Cacao

                                   

About: Perugina is a venerable Italian brand with a marketing message that Perudina chocolate is saying "I love you the Italian way." I assume they mean it's chaotic, emotional, irrationally spontaneous and probably promiscuous, which is a lot for a bar of chocolate. They focus on their Baci brand, a filled chocolate with a whole hazelnut chaotically thrust into the little filled ball of Italian love. The Perugina line, which sees less love on their website, has a handful or so of different chocolates, many milk chocolates that shall not pass (these lips).

.

Flavor:  This is a sweet, smokey chocolate, with a long follow-through that ends with notes of raisin and .. um... what a puddle of mud would taste like if chocolate tasted like puddles of mud. The smokey flavor is strong, and not to my liking particularly, even though it's not a flawed flavor. I can imagine that some people would really enjoy the distinctive, full flavor. Some. Not this person.

Texture: This chocolate comes in thin flat slabs - see the picture on the packaging. That means that it's a pleasantly delicate eating experience - you won't break your teeth on some hard textured slab. The chocolate is perhaps slightly chalky, but overall smooth.

My rating:  A 7 for interesting flavor and acceptable texture. 

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Jouvay 75% cocoa

                                   

About: This chocolate is made in Granada from chocolate grown in Granada by a partnership between local growers and LA Burdick, whose (excellent) chocolates I mentioned elsewhere in this blog. They make a handful of chocolates, mostly around 60% (tourists!), which they show nicely in an 'explain like I'm 5" fashion on their website.

Flavor:  Well.. it's a full flavor experience here. It starts slow, explodes into a fruity, raisinish aroma and finishes with an earthy, full, deep flavor. Very nice.

Texture: Just very slightly brittle, but overall smooth.

My rating:  A 7 for great flavor and acceptable texture. 

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Uniconf 80% kakao

                                   

About: This is a Russian made chocolate, from a large manufacturer with a history going back to 1804.  According to them, they are "the largest confectionery Holding in the Eastern Europe and the leader on the Russian confectionary[sic] market." It's confectionery, but I couldn't even read their logo, so I should shup.

Flavor:  It's hard to explain what's different about this chocolate. It has a warm, coffee-ish, earthy flavor that I've not had before. I'm not sure if I like it or not, but it's different. It's not a fruity chocolate, but it does have a full flavor.

Texture: Somewhat brittle. Somewhat slightly chalky. Not excited by the texture.

My rating:  A 5 for interesting flavor but loss of points for texture. 

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Durci 70% Joya Rara chocolate

                                   

About: Durci is an American chocolate manufacturer with a handful of 70% cocoa bars made in Utah. Their chocolate is cocoa beans, sugar, and cocoa butter - so sort-of bean to bar - ish. There's not a lot of information on their web site, which has the feel of two guys in a garage (which is totally okay). You know it's not okay when someone says "which is totally okay." Oh well.

Flavor:  While they claim that this bar is made  "from a special heirloom cocoa bean rediscovered several years ago" and that it is "composed of roughly 40% white beans ... with a characteristic light orange-brown color with a taste that is slightly sweeter than most cocoa beans." But for me, the flavor was on the flat side.

Texture: Unfortunately wildly brittle in an unpleasant way. After the initial "did I just bite into a piece of plastic" is over, the flavor is okay.

My rating:  A 5 for okay flavor but loss of points for texture. 

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Rózsavölgyi Csokoládé 72% Madagascar Trinitario Bean Chocolate

                                   

About: If your mother was a chocolate maker, and your mother loved you very much, and your mother wrapped some chocolate for you ever so lovingly and carefully to take to school for lunch, it would look like this. But it's not likely that your mother could make a chocolate that tasted this good.

This Hungarian  chocolate is made in Budapest from just beans, sugar, and cocoa butter. They (I'd like to put their name here, but Holy Weird Letters Batman, I can't) make a bunch of different bars, including single source bars like this one and strange chocolates like 'rusty tools' and mustuaches! (Chocolate in the shape of rusty tools and chocolate mustaches. How did you live without those?!?). They make cocoa butter and other bars and truffles, and based on the care put into this bar, I want to try them all.

Flavor: This bar has the fresh taste of a bean-to-bar chocolate. You will be hit over the head with a rich, fruity flavor filled with notes of berry. The flavor lasts and lasts. It's awesome.

Texture: While it's slightly brittle, ever so slightly, I have no complaints.

My rating:  A nice 8 for superlative flavor.

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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L'Amourette 72% Cacao Raspberry (that was really Ginger)

                                   

About: L'Amourette is a San Fracisco brand of chocolate. The most interesting about this bar was that it was packaged as Raspberry but was actually Ginger inside. They make many flavors of chocolate (including, duh, Ginger!), and I have had a few and always enjoyed them.

Flavor: The Ginger comes through nicely, with a bit of a pungent bite. The chocolate is solidly earthy and full,without the fruitiness of a bean-to-bar chocolate.

Texture: The Ginger in this bar is ... well... Ginger. So it is a big chewy and doesn't necessarily match the smooth, creamy texture of the chocolate. But the chocolate is pleasantly smooth.

My rating:  A nice 7.

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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