Signiture Select 78% Dark Chocolate

                                   

About: Signature Select is a Safeway super market generic brand. It's not clear who actually makes this chocolate, though it claims a Swiss provenance. This chocolate is clearly a mass produced product, but not necessarily poorly made. The chocolate itself is very generic and not very flavorful, but the highly processed beans do result in a good texture.

Flavor:  On the good side, it's not too sweet, and, while it's a short, not-very-complex flavor profile, it's pleasant. This is the embodiment of  "there's nothing wrong with it" but.. nothing to get excited about. Melt it and use it as topping on your sundae, and you win. Expect a great chocolate experience? Not so much.

Texture:Really smooth. Actually silky and creamy for the high cocoa content.

My rating:  A 6 for no bad flavors and a good texture. 

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Perugina NEGO Sfoglie 70% Cacao

                                   

About: Perugina is a venerable Italian brand with a marketing message that Perudina chocolate is saying "I love you the Italian way." I assume they mean it's chaotic, emotional, irrationally spontaneous and probably promiscuous, which is a lot for a bar of chocolate. They focus on their Baci brand, a filled chocolate with a whole hazelnut chaotically thrust into the little filled ball of Italian love. The Perugina line, which sees less love on their website, has a handful or so of different chocolates, many milk chocolates that shall not pass (these lips).

.

Flavor:  This is a sweet, smokey chocolate, with a long follow-through that ends with notes of raisin and .. um... what a puddle of mud would taste like if chocolate tasted like puddles of mud. The smokey flavor is strong, and not to my liking particularly, even though it's not a flawed flavor. I can imagine that some people would really enjoy the distinctive, full flavor. Some. Not this person.

Texture: This chocolate comes in thin flat slabs - see the picture on the packaging. That means that it's a pleasantly delicate eating experience - you won't break your teeth on some hard textured slab. The chocolate is perhaps slightly chalky, but overall smooth.

My rating:  A 7 for interesting flavor and acceptable texture. 

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Jouvay 75% cocoa

                                   

About: This chocolate is made in Granada from chocolate grown in Granada by a partnership between local growers and LA Burdick, whose (excellent) chocolates I mentioned elsewhere in this blog. They make a handful of chocolates, mostly around 60% (tourists!), which they show nicely in an 'explain like I'm 5" fashion on their website.

Flavor:  Well.. it's a full flavor experience here. It starts slow, explodes into a fruity, raisinish aroma and finishes with an earthy, full, deep flavor. Very nice.

Texture: Just very slightly brittle, but overall smooth.

My rating:  A 7 for great flavor and acceptable texture. 

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Uniconf 80% kakao

                                   

About: This is a Russian made chocolate, from a large manufacturer with a history going back to 1804.  According to them, they are "the largest confectionery Holding in the Eastern Europe and the leader on the Russian confectionary[sic] market." It's confectionery, but I couldn't even read their logo, so I should shup.

Flavor:  It's hard to explain what's different about this chocolate. It has a warm, coffee-ish, earthy flavor that I've not had before. I'm not sure if I like it or not, but it's different. It's not a fruity chocolate, but it does have a full flavor.

Texture: Somewhat brittle. Somewhat slightly chalky. Not excited by the texture.

My rating:  A 5 for interesting flavor but loss of points for texture. 

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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