Sugarpova Dark Chocolate 70% cacao

 























 

About: Celebrity can market anything. In this case, tennis markets chocolate. Sugarpova is a candy line market using international tennis player, Maria Sharapova. She likes candy, it we are told. So she created a candy business, we are told. The candies are in her own style, we are told. Game. Match.

So there's all kinds of candy here, but also chocolate. One bar to hit all the standard chocolates: white, milk, dark, Orange, and .... are you sitting? ... cookies and cream. The chocolate is made in Poland, by Baron chocolates a maker with a 30 year tradition. They make a handful of bars with different cocoa concentrations.



Flavor: Sweet and totally acceptable. The flavor is rounded, without astringent flavors. It's not fruity, and it's not deeply earthy, but what do those terms mean anyway? The bar is good mostly because it's not bad. I enjoyed eating it, but I wouldn't trade this for a fresh bean-to-bar bar, if I were in a bar. Even not in a bar.

Texture: Definitely smooth and creamy. This got this part down well.

My rating:  7 for texture and okay flavor.

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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La Maison du Chocolat 74% Cuana Noir

 























About: Founded in 1977 in Paris, the Maison du Chocolat now has a number of boutiques worldwide. They make various chocolate confections, including a handful of dark bars. These are not bean-to-bar chocolates; they include vanilla and lecithin, but they are full flavored and the craftsmanship is apparent in the flavor. 

Flavor: Full bodied and mellow. There are no burned or sour after tastes. It's light on fruitiness, but round, earthy and pleasant.

Texture: Pretty good, if ever so slightly chalky.

My rating:  8 - good flavor, pretty good texture. Above average for sure.

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Holy Caco 70% dark chocolate Venezuela

 























About: This is an Israeli bean-to-bar chocolate. They make a handful of chocolates, mostly from single sources and as low as 45%. There's a bit of religious politics on their pages, which honestly detracts from the love of chocolate, but... it's a difficult part of the world to live in.

Flavor:The flavor is good. This is an above average bar. But if you compare it to a great bean-to-bar bar, it falls a bit short. The flavor is fruity with raisin hints, but light. The profile lasts, but not that long.

Texture: Nicely smooth. Again, on it's own, it's a fine bar, but it falls short compared to where it could be.

My rating:  8.

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Francois Pralus Fortissima 80%

 
























About: Francois Pralus is the son of Auguste Pralus, who invented the Praline in the mid 20th century. He was born in Mars, France, if we're dropping names. Francois carries on in the same boutique, where he produces 15 pure varieties and 4 blended bars.  


Flavor: This bar has a 'warm' round flavor, with strong smokey notes. It's not that fruity, and the flavor is overall subdued.

Texture:Nicely creamy, though not as much as some of the large brands, like Lindt.

My rating:  A solid 7 or 8. I'm waffling here on 7 or 8. But I just can't decide.

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Suchard 85% cocoa

 






















About: Suchard is another Mondelez brand (Eeek Milka! Cote d'Or!). But the company has roots in Switzerland, where its founder, Phillipe Suchard, was born and (supposedly) recognized the potential of chocolate at age 12. They've been making chocolate since 1826. Their website is slick, but I can't even find this bar there. Shrug.

Flavor: Pleasantly okay. It's a bit bitter and it's not particularly fruity, but it's solid, earthy and full.

Texture:Very smooth, as seems to be the case with the larger (older?) producers.

My rating:  7 or 8. The Texture is great. The flavor is really okay.

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Cocoa Parlor Into Dark 80%

 
























About:  Made in Laguna Niguel in Southern California by Karen. No last name, but she's also a surfer, and the whole website is beach themed. Worked for me, to be honest. This is the darkest of their handful of different bars.

Flavor: Not as good as I'd hoped but okay. They make their own bars, but at least this bar didn't have that fresh, fruity flavor I'd have expected. It's dark and earthy, but also tastes a bit over roasted to me.

Texture: Honestly, and somewhat disappointingly, not super smooth. If I compare (unfair! unfair!) to the similarly dark 78% Lindt bar (unfair! unfair!). the latter is super smooth; unbelievably smooth. This bar is chalky.

My rating:  Kind of a 5, le sigh.

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Figaro Sladka Vesen 70% cacao (Kakaa)

 
























About: Figaro is a Czech made chocolate, owned by Mondelez International (who makes Milka (shudder) and Cote d'Or (okay, whew)). This is a slovenian brand with heritage going back to the 1890.

Flavor: This chocolate has an interesting round flavor that I can't quite describe. It's smokey. It's not very fruity, and it's not very long lasting. But the smokey flavor is different and interesting.

Texture: Completely reasonable.

My rating: 7 for being interesting. not sure how much I actually LIKE it. But interesting.

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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El Buen cacao 80% bean to bar

 






















About: El Buen is a bean-to-bar manufacturer based in Idyllwild, CA. Idyllwild! how can you go wrong. They eat tree bark there and live on sunshine. Their bars have beans and sugar. They make a handful of bars and some truffles. 

Flavor: I had this bar around a while, and so perhaps that's why I found it lacking in flavor. I really think that must be it, because there's nothing good I can say about the chocolate I ate. But I do think it's probably the age.

Texture: Same as for the flavor.

My rating:  Kind-of 4, but a 5 because maybe it's my fault. I'll have to revisit.

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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French Broad Chocolates Nicaragua 68% dark chocolate

 























About: French Broad chocolates proclaims first and foremost on their website: We make awesome chocolate.  I agree. They make it in North Carolina, with attention to detail from the box to the chocolate. I found their marketing to be unpretentious ("awesome" not withstanding) and passionate. Their founding story is inside the box (buy one and read it), and they even include a short description of how to enjoy the chocolate.

Flavor:Early and full flavored, with hints of raisin, and current. Tangy, with a long follow-through. At 68%, it's sweet. Perhaps a tad sweet for me, seeing as I am already so sweet.

Texture:Good, but just a bit chalky. If the bar has a weakness, it's this.

My rating:  Solid 8. Would be a 9, but for the chalkiness.

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Vivani 85% cacao

 























About:Vivani is a German brand. They make a wide variety of chocolates, flavored and pure, as well as other chocolate confections and even chocolate cream (which is, I think, a sort of spread). They claim to have a heritage of over 100 years of chocolate making, but it's all a bit hazy. 

Flavor: The dark chocolate is slightly bitter. If you're thinking, "yes, dumdum, it's dark chocolate," I'll respond that it's bitter for a dark chocolate. Moreover, the flavor, when it does come out, is not pronounced or strong. It's like basic, earthy chocolate, but without much in the way of fruitiness.

Texture:Smooth for such a high-content chocolate bar, but not so smooth that you'll write your mother about it. It's basically fine.


My rating:  A 6 for nice texture but rather average, at best, flavor.

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Williams-Sonoma Good and Evil 72% by Bourdain and ripert

About: What to say about this. I was too lazy to research it, because of having a life. But some things don't require research. First, Williams-Sonoma didn't make this chocolate. They don't make the pots they sell, either, in case you're wondering. And I'm pretty sure that celebrity chefs Anthony Bourdain and Eric Rupert didn't make this either. The funny thing is that it's just a regular bar - cocoa, sugar, and lecithin. So the art here is in the chocolate making, and being in front of a camera does shit-all for teaching you about conching. But... 5 points for marketing, I guess.

The chocolate maker here is Eclat chocolate, a Pennsylvania-made chocolate maker started by Christopher Curtin, who claims to have studied in Switzerland, Belgium, France, Germany and Japan. So... all the chocolate meccas. Tastes like he was a good student.

Flavor: Really pretty good. It's a big sweet overall, and it's not bean-to-bar fresh, somehow. It lacks that fresh aromatic zing you get from a really fresh bar. But it's rich, full flavored, long lasting, and fruity. Liked it.

Texture: Oh yeah, smooth. This is a creamy delight, a felty tongue treat, a quiet snow-filled night for your mouth. Plus 2 here.


My rating:  Solid 9. Would eat again.

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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Dick Taylor Madagascar 72%

 























About: Dick Taylor is a Northern California manufacturer of bean-to-bar chocolate. 

Flavor:  This is a very good bar, if somewhat sour. I associate that with fermentation based on nothing whatsoever but my own fantastic imagination. Not the sourness. It's sour. The fermentation thing. The sour flavor detracts from the bouquet for me, but .. you know... it's still a great bar.

Texture: Smooth. Not like a Russian in an American bar, but smooth.

My rating:  8. Would have been a 9, but the sourness.

Rating Value	Meaning
1	Really bad chocolate. There's something just really really wrong here in almost every imaginable respect.
2	A bar with this rating has at least two drawbacks.
3	A bar where something is starting to get seriously wrong.... for example, really weak flavor with an otherwise acceptable texture.
4	This bar is below average, but just slightly. Mostly it's not worth eating again. Something isn't quite up to par, for example a poor texture but fine flavor.
5	This is an average good bar that's worth eating. There's nothing really wrong with it, but also nothing particularly spectacular. Or, perhaps it has a good characteristic that's evenly counter-weighted by something weak.
6	A solidly good bar with one characteristic that's above par, for example a great texture.
7	An solidly good chocolate that has two above par characteristics, but nothing mind-blowing. Good, above average flavor, but nothing to die for.
8	An excellent bar with no weaknesses and at least one characteristic that's super.
9	An awesome bar to die for with amazing texture and flavor.
10	You have been touched by God.

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